Oktoberfest: Alternate Recommendations

Now I really don't like to be negative, and I know that I'm in a minority here who happen to dislike loud partying events and making a dumb sh*t of yourself drinking beer.

But here's the thing. If you want Oktoberfest without all the overwhelming DUMB, go to local/regional beer festivals, such as Herbstdult/Dultfest in Regensburg, or Gillamoos Fest in Abensberg. These are smaller-scale beerfests with all the beer, all the rides, all the food, all the souvenirs, all for cheaper, cleaner atmosphere, less stressful, and with much less of the feeling that you're a salmon fighting your way upstream with a million other salmon who have all likewise lost their mind and are blindly following some primitive instinct to get to the goal, spew things from their innards, and FLOP OVER LIKE A STUPID, BRAINLESS FISH.