Sorry to Bother

I've heard telemarketing is no longer allowed here, but the Chinese telemarketers either never even got close to getting wind of this, or they casually ignore the rule and pull the No-Speaky-Good-English card. So my Chinese family gets telemarketer calls somewhat frequently from time to time. Despite the No-Speaky-Good-English card, you usually can't fend them off with English either, because they speak it well enough to keep badgering you about great international phone plans starting at just blah blah blah blah....

But since I've been back, I've found that the fastest way to ward off ordinarily relentless Chinese telemarketers is to fight back with none other than a (seemingly) ruthless slew of German.

*phone rings*
Me: "Hello?"

Chinese Telemarketer: [Chinese] "Hello!!!!!! If you please, is Mr. Li there??????"
(你好！！！ 请问，李先生在吗？？？？？？)

Me: "Es tut mir leid, aber ich glaub', er ist momentan nicht zu Hause."
Translation: "Sorry, but I don't think he's home at the moment."

Telemarketer: ..... (timid) "Hello?"

Me: "Kann ich noch was helfen?"
Translation: "Is there anything else I could help with?"

Telemarketer: [English] "Is... somebody can speak Chinese?"

Me: "Leider kann ich Sie nicht verstehen. Gibt's vielleicht eine andere Sprache, die Sie sprechen könnten?"
Translation: "Unfortunately, I cannot understand you. Is there perhaps another language that you could try speaking?"

Telemarketer: ......

Me: "Hallo?"

Telemarketer: [English, horribly awkward] "Oh, sorry, um... sorry. *click* "

I don't care how evil you think I am. These people have been calling us every day for a week.