Guten Rutsch ins neue Jahr 2010 !

Ah, this time last year, I remember running headlong through the streets with my German friend Alex, who was nice enough to take me New Year's party-hopping in Regensburg, making it by far the most active and celebratory New Year's in my personal experience. The streets were positively exploding with party-goers, beer bottles, party debris and, almost literally, fireworks. If I hadn't known it was New Year's, I would have been scared senseless to think I was in a real life war zone during a bombing.

We were in the cafe Picasso between the Cathedral and the Danube by this time, and just at midnight, the already enormously raucous streets positively burst, and I dashed outside just in time to see fireworks fill the sky over the river and the Stone Bridge just overhead. I'm very fearful of overwhelmingly loud noise, but I plugged my ears and watched for a while because it was still so spectacular nonetheless. I regret not having footage, sorry, guys.

Pathetic as it sounds, I actually can't think of any other New Year's in my life that wasn't much more than hugging my parents and exclaiming Happy New Year as a child, or later in life just being snuggled up in bed reading a book or writing in my journal and essentially completely forgetting all about it until it's already 0:15 and I suddenly look up and think, "Oh. Now I've got to remember to change the number on homework assignments." So that was a fairly outstanding memory from New Year's in Regensburg. [obvious]--> I'm not really a big party person. <-- [obvious]

Well, it's already long been New Year's in Germany and other countries that have a custom of doing this, but at any rate, here is Dinner For One, which is always watched every New Year's in Deutschland, for whatever reason I don't quite know. But it's amusing! Funnier still is that it experiences a far huger popularity in non-English-speaking countries, whereas it seems to be virtually unknown in English-speaking countries. And now those of you in said English-speaking countries will be one black-and-white comedy skit more enlightened. Enjoy!



"Same procedure as every year, James!"

'Burgweh - Knock Knock!

Today was the first day of classes at Vanderbilt. After each class, I keep wanting to knock on my desk, and sometimes I (very) briefly wonder why nobody is doing the same. And I'll admit... I still do it very quietly anyway, knowing that I'm the only who hears it or understands it.

In Germany, that's what you do when class ends. I had always wanted to get a brief video of it, but never did, for some reason. It's kind of interesting... And don't ask me why they do it, I don't know the actual reason.

But it feels SO NATURAL to do it now!! Everyone should knock on their desks upon the end of class!!

Okay... so I realize this is yet one more little thing I miss now. If this seems rather strange to you, then imagine going to normal live performances where the audience doesn't clap at the end of the show, but simply gets up and starts to leave when it's done.

Sorry to Bother

I've heard telemarketing is no longer allowed here, but the Chinese telemarketers either never even got close to getting wind of this, or they casually ignore the rule and pull the No-Speaky-Good-English card. So my Chinese family gets telemarketer calls somewhat frequently from time to time. Despite the No-Speaky-Good-English card, you usually can't fend them off with English either, because they speak it well enough to keep badgering you about great international phone plans starting at just blah blah blah blah....

But since I've been back, I've found that the fastest way to ward off ordinarily relentless Chinese telemarketers is to fight back with none other than a (seemingly) ruthless slew of German.

*phone rings*
Me: "Hello?"

Chinese Telemarketer: [Chinese] "Hello!!!!!! If you please, is Mr. Li there??????"
(你好！！！ 请问，李先生在吗？？？？？？)

Me: "Es tut mir leid, aber ich glaub', er ist momentan nicht zu Hause."
Translation: "Sorry, but I don't think he's home at the moment."

Telemarketer: ..... (timid) "Hello?"

Me: "Kann ich noch was helfen?"
Translation: "Is there anything else I could help with?"

Telemarketer: [English] "Is... somebody can speak Chinese?"

Me: "Leider kann ich Sie nicht verstehen. Gibt's vielleicht eine andere Sprache, die Sie sprechen könnten?"
Translation: "Unfortunately, I cannot understand you. Is there perhaps another language that you could try speaking?"

Telemarketer: ......

Me: "Hallo?"

Telemarketer: [English, horribly awkward] "Oh, sorry, um... sorry. *click* "

I don't care how evil you think I am. These people have been calling us every day for a week.

Turnaround

You know, I think my German is actually better than my Mandarin Chinese now.

(And if Kaci ever reads this, she will not only understand but also instantly fall on the floor laughing at what an understatement this is).

Somewhere Beyond The Sea

Sanni is a friend of mine in Germany. We have a sort of joke of making bad jokes between each other. As I was sitting next to her with a few other acquaintances during my last week in Regensburg, I turned to Sanni and melodramatically sighed,

"Oh, Sanni, of all things to accidentally forget in Regensburg.... I've left my heart!"

Of course, a few days later as a farewell gift, she got me this sweet red jacket with REGENSBURG across the front, and on the left side where my heart is, there is a small, iron-on patch of the crossed double keys, symbol and seal of Regensburg.

I miss living within walking distance of you, Sanni. I'm not even within swimming distance any more.

TP

Confound it!

Ran out of toilet paper just four days before departure.
(I was hoping it would last just long enough without having to buy a new roll.)

Meerrettich

Because of the following story, I will now never forget the meaning of this word.

I've known J. since we were both 5 years old in the same Kindergarten class, and only until college did we go to different schools. Two weeks ago, she and her boyfriend came by Regensburg on part of their vacation through Europe. We walked around the city during the day, and in the evening, I took them to Alte Linde ("Old Linden Tree"), a well-known beer garden in Regensburg situated on a small island on the Danube with a great view across the river. As with most beer gardens, it serves lots of beer and lots of very traditional German food.


The two of them don't speak any German, so we went down the menu and I translated for them. J. pointed to an item under the Brotzeit menu (traditional German meal where cold cuts, cheeses, bread and other spreads are served on a wooden cutting board) that had a long list of sundry items that came with it. One of the few words I simply couldn't remember was "Meerrettich", because I just hadn't encountered it much. But the other items sounded alright, so J. went ahead and ordered it for dinner.

After a while, our food finally came, and in front of her was a big variety of the items mentioned above. We sat there trying to guess what everything was, because I haven't actually ordered Brotzeit much and wasn't entirely sure. Then she scooped a bit from a small white mound, spread it generously across a piece of bread and took a big bite. We were eating when she suddenly sat up in a panic, flailed her hands and desperately started guzzling some beer (there weren't any other options on our table).

The white stuff, Meerrettich, is horseradish.

And German horseradish is strong.

Oops! Sorry!

It won't happen again!

Coffee... from Togo?

As you all likely well know, countless English terms have been integrated into languages in both Europe and all over the world, and German is no exception.

Although Europe is filled with the traditional cafés where one always goes purposefully to sit and enjoy a cup with company, the characteristically American concept of grabbing coffee on the run in the mornings or around lunch has likewise infiltrated the modern food industry here, and nowadays, it's not uncommon to come across the distinctly English term "Coffee - or "Kaffee" - To Go" in coffee shops and restaurants everywhere.


It's hip! It's modern! And sometimes, it just feels cooler to advertise than "Kaffe zum Mitnehmen"!

Unfortunately for many of the older generations of Germans, it can be often be quite difficult to keep up with the dynamic changes that almost seem to flood in with every passing week.

But it's to my personal great amusement when you overhear an elderly German going up to a counter and ordering "ein Kaffee Togo, bitte". Togo, pronounced with German vowels. Togo, which rhymes with "pogo" of pogo-stick. Togo, like the small west African country. Togo, like only a cute old German would say.

Bobblehead Pigeons

(from The New York Times)

You know how when pigeons are on the ground walking, they invariably do the head-bob with each step, making you (me) wonder how they get by for so long without having mush for brains, worse than they already do?

Would you like to know what I have really wanted to do for a while now, especially being in yet another European city where they run rampant?

I want to do an experiment where one puts a small brace on a pigeon's head, and then see if it can keep walking or not. Nothing to hurt the poor, stupid beast, mind you. Just enough to see if the two factors are linked -- and if so, to what degree.

Oh, I've so been wanting to try.

Thought of the Week - Change

"Man, I have all this change... it's making my wallet bulge. I should go get some more gela-- NO!! No! I will NOT spend my change on more gelato! No! Bad! I will not eat more gelato! I will go down to the post office and use change to buy stamps to send postcards that will NOT make me become one big, round, rolling gelato scoop! Buy stamps!!! Resist gelato!!!"

Vhat the Wuck?

There has always been this little phenomenon with a surprising number of Germans who speak English regarding the English letters "V" and "W" .

Other American friends who speak German and I have frequently noticed that Germans say "willage" instead of "village". Phonetic mix-ups are nothing remarkable in any language-to-language transfer. All languages are composed of a different collection of phonetic ingredients, and basically, some language always has some kind of sound that some other language doesn't have.

HOWEVER.

I find the above example completely bizarre, because the German language has these phonemes (sounds). The only difference is that their "V" is pronounced as a "fff", and their "W" is pronounced as our "V". (Prime example: Volkswagen is pronounced, "Folksvagen," to us.) Despite that, it shouldn't make a difference. The sounds have different labels, but they are still present in both languages. To this day, I still cannot figure out why Germans say "willage" instead of "village".

They have the phoneme. There is no reason to mix them up. They have the phoneme. And might I mention that there are few English-speaking Germans who have any major problems with the "w" in "where" and "when"?

I've asked and discussed this with German friends of mine personally. I've gotten anything from Germans who have no problem saying English words starting with "v", to those who can discern absolutely no difference when I enunciate both the correct and incorrect forms before them, to those who have said, "Well, I actually had a good American friend who helped teach me what exactly to do with your mouth, lips and tongue. So that's why I can do it. However, that's the only reason why I can pronounce it correctly now. As far as sound, I promise you, both still sound exactly the same to me."

Isn't this bizarre?!

You Swine!

Ah. How splendid.


It was just announced on the news this morning that the first case of the Swine Flu in Germany has just been documented in - none other than - good old Regensburg.

It was reported in the surrounding county, so the case fortunately wasn't within the main city itself. But you must admit that we've really got to hand it to Murphy again this time. Gosh darn it, Murphy. *shakes fist*.

At the moment, I am still not certain if I should bring this to my mother's attention. I had only just convinced her how safe I was here. Sigh.

(Ironically, the pig is an animal/symbol of luck in Germany).

Your Literal Is Served, Sir

The German language, as you may or may not know, is frequently literal, blunt and to-the-point. (... As many Germans are! Zing! This continues to support my frequent musings that people are direct reflections of their languages, and vice versa).

I was washing dishes today and thought to look up the word for carnivore in German. The online dictionary pulls up:

carnivore: der Fleischfresser
Which literally translates to "the Flesh/Meat feeder".
Then I follow the predictable route:

herbivore: der Pflanzenfresser
Which translates to "the Plant feeder".
AND NOW GET THIS:

omnivore: der Allesfresser
Which translates to "the EVERYTHING FEEDER".

I know this is not really remarkable in a practical light, but I found myself incredibly amused by this. EVERYTHING FEEDER! Raawr!! Maybe it's how accurately this word describes my own dietary pattern. Okay, so this is also funnier if you might know a little German and understand the word "fressen" for eating as opposed to the word "essen" for eating.

(For Michael: FATZILLA VERSCHLINGT ALLES!)
(omg!!!! And I even found the picture to correspond! I rock.)

Valentinstag

So tell me:

Is it wrong to be outside blissfully enjoying two scoops of ice cold gelato this much while strolling around on a below-freezing evening in the middle of February--?

No. (*slurp*) It is not. (*slurp*)


Pure, frigid happiness.


... (*slurp*)

(In case you hadn't noticed, the Italians are back now.)

Privilege Landmarks

I love it when the topic comes up here, and all of the Europeans always react incredulously,

"You let your people drive when they're only 16, yet they can't have alcohol until they're 21 ???"

It's okay, Europeans. It doesn't really make sense to me, either.