... And Eternity in a Grain of Sand

As of recently, I get this uncomfortable feeling that somehow, I wasted too much of my year in Regensburg. I don't mean that it was a waste to go. Rather, that I had this fantastic opportunity, and though I certainly utilized it, I did not come close to doing even more than that and expanding my world just that much more. I could have traveled more. I could have spent more time knowing even more people who would bring me just that many more new perspectives. There is enlightenment and inspiration and beauty that I missed, and I don't know why or what would have happened. There was just more there that, while one will never get everything, I missed out on too much simply because I didn't try hard enough to get it. I could have had more. I'm not greedy, but it's a confusing and uncertain feeling that I may have pathetically wasted more than I ever should have.

Well, maybe all this comes out of spending only a year there (or 11 months). It really is a very short time, once you come out of it. Those of you considering study abroad, as I have always said... Don't ever give up a full year for a half-year if you have any choice. There is only always more gain than loss.

'Burgweh - Knock Knock!

Today was the first day of classes at Vanderbilt. After each class, I keep wanting to knock on my desk, and sometimes I (very) briefly wonder why nobody is doing the same. And I'll admit... I still do it very quietly anyway, knowing that I'm the only who hears it or understands it.

In Germany, that's what you do when class ends. I had always wanted to get a brief video of it, but never did, for some reason. It's kind of interesting... And don't ask me why they do it, I don't know the actual reason.

But it feels SO NATURAL to do it now!! Everyone should knock on their desks upon the end of class!!

Okay... so I realize this is yet one more little thing I miss now. If this seems rather strange to you, then imagine going to normal live performances where the audience doesn't clap at the end of the show, but simply gets up and starts to leave when it's done.

Somewhere Beyond The Sea

Sanni is a friend of mine in Germany. We have a sort of joke of making bad jokes between each other. As I was sitting next to her with a few other acquaintances during my last week in Regensburg, I turned to Sanni and melodramatically sighed,

"Oh, Sanni, of all things to accidentally forget in Regensburg.... I've left my heart!"

Of course, a few days later as a farewell gift, she got me this sweet red jacket with REGENSBURG across the front, and on the left side where my heart is, there is a small, iron-on patch of the crossed double keys, symbol and seal of Regensburg.

I miss living within walking distance of you, Sanni. I'm not even within swimming distance any more.

Home!

Alright. It's a little after 7:00 AM and I'm sitting in my room peeling my eyelids open as part of my plan to counter the jet lag. In the last half year, I've usually woken up around 6:30 - 7:30 AM, so maybe this will aid with getting back into routine. Plus, I woke up at 3:00 AM for absolutely no reason of disturbance, which never happens, so my body is still in a bit of a, "I'm telling you, these Circadian Rhythm orders from upstairs just CAN'T BE RIGHT, it's mid-morning, I tell you!! MID-MORNING!!" attitude right now. Don't worry, you'll be feeling better and back in American Central Time soon enough, Körper mine.

So! For most of you smart cookies out there, you'll know that I'm finally back home now, after a grueling but fortunately uneventful 1-shuttle, 3-plane, 23-hour, 2-in-flight-movie, multiple-bouts-of-crying trip from Regensburg > Munich > Amsterdam > Detroit to HOME. No lost luggage, no significant injuries, no major additional emotional scarring (but I think I made an old lady cry when she saw me pull out a note from a friend and start crying as I read it at the Munich airport). Two thumbs up for uneventful traveling.

Originally, I imagined this blog would come to an end upon my return, since it was primarily focused on expressing and telling what was happening to me in Germany on my year abroad. But on second thought, that's not true. There's experience in coming home itself, and more importantly, I already anticipate the infamous reverse culture shock to come. I'm not done telling stories just yet.

So in a nutshell, there will be some other things to come here. And if you get bored, of course there's always Bloog-a, my other little blog floating about in cyberspace.

Farewell, Regensburg. My heart breaks to leave you, but I'll be back some day to reclaim the pieces.

Eine Woche Bleibt Noch

("One Week Still Remains")

This time next week, I'll be back in the States.

......

*starts crying*

The Beginning of the End

Sorry to sound so Doomsday-sy (that word has got to be too cute for its intention) in the title, but today I have inadvertently taken down a mental landmark of, well... truly the beginning of my last days here.

Why today specifically?

As with second semester, I've simply become good friends with my tutors from first semester, now that they are no longer tutoring me*. Today, one of my tutors from last semester had sent me a text saying she had something to give me. I met up with her briefly at a café where she was with some friends, we greeted, and she handed me a delightful and heart-felt mixed CD. (Yes! Expanding my music horizons!) On it is mostly German music, but also some songs in French, English, (technically some Austrian, because there's a Mozart piece), and Spanish slotted in between the rest.

*FYI: Vanderbilt requires that I have a tutor for every class that I take. But I'm not really complaining. Without them, especially first semester, I would have drowned.

She lives a little ways outside of Regensburg and is going home tomorrow morning, so we hugged 57 different times and said a bittersweet goodbye. We didn't get to hang out as much as I realize we should have, but I'll really miss her. We had a good time, and I'm glad to have met her.


I popped it in and started listening as soon as I got back home. Track #1 is "Adieu" by 17 Hippies, and as I listened, I felt it draw a deep sigh from within me somewhere.

I've come here now to say "Adieu,"
The others have already gone and are waiting...

Click the link and give it a listen. Musically speaking, in certain categories, this is just my cup of tea. I love it.

The music she's given me is excellent, and I'm quite happy to find how much I like most of the tracks. Some are somber and mellow, like "Adieu," while others are purposefully humorous and make me laugh, like "Denglisch" (Deutsch/Englisch, a very well-known term between those who speak both languages) and "Mein kleiner grüner Kaktus" ("My Little Green Cactus"). And still there are a few that I already knew.

Track #14 is "Wonderful World" by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole. I already knew this song because it was used in Juggleville III at Vanderbilt, which I was in last year. I always liked it a lot, but had never actually heard the entire song (just the segment during rehearsals and shows).

Thinking about leaving the people I've come to adore and love here, and then, listening to this track on this farewell CD, I suddenly burst into tears. Uncontrollable tears. I upgraded from Kleenex to hand towel in record time. I had to follow me with a mop.

But believe it or not, that was already the second time. When I was still on "Adieu," I read the small message in red that she also wrote for me at the bottom of the inside cover. It reads in German: "Dear Elayn, your year here has flown by far too quickly. It made me really happy that I got to know you. Best wishes for the future. Maybe one day, we will see each other again."


And when I reached the last sentence, I lost it. I'm sorry. I lost it.

This is truly the beginning of the end.

'Burgweh - Mosquito-Free

While we still get a lot of bugs during the summer here in Regensburg, especially gnats galore, I'm thankful that at least they are rarely ever mosquitoes. I've only gotten one (and a half?) bites here all summer, and I'm actually not even sure it was a mosquito at all.

I am so loath to return to the southern United States, where it is not only even more humid and sticky and miserably hot, but is also the Nether-Kingdom Of the Not-So-Miniscule Airborne Blood-Suckers Who Bringeth Suffering and The Nights Of Hell.

(When I was a kid, I once remember us counting 97 mosquito bites across my whole body. Nights of Hell).

'Burgweh - Daylight

As of today, 21 June, the first day of summer, the sun rises over Regensburg at 5:07 AM and sets in the evening at 9:20 PM. And that's not including the fact that there is still daylight fading away over the horizon at 10:15 PM.


As far as daylight goes, Nashville is pretty much the netherworld by around 8:00 PM, not even with fading light, regardless of how long the longest day of summer is supposed to be.

*sigh*.

Maybe if this city just wasn't so beautiful, I wouldn't miss it like this.

'Burgweh - Public Transportation

What I will miss in Regensburg:

Convenient and practical public transportation.
Outside of a small handful of cities, it is virtually nonexistent in the US.

(Back to being stuck and stranded in the VanderBubble again. *weeps*.)

'Burgweh* - Get What You See

(Note: The term 'Burgweh is not an actual word, but a term derived from a combination of the real German word, Heimweh ("home sickness") and Regensburg. Ergo, 'Burgweh represents all and everything that I will miss and pine for once I must leave.)


What I will miss from Regensburg:

Going to stores and supermarkets and paying the exact price marked on each item. Tax is already included here.