The Beginning of the End

Sorry to sound so Doomsday-sy (that word has got to be too cute for its intention) in the title, but today I have inadvertently taken down a mental landmark of, well... truly the beginning of my last days here.

Why today specifically?

As with second semester, I've simply become good friends with my tutors from first semester, now that they are no longer tutoring me*. Today, one of my tutors from last semester had sent me a text saying she had something to give me. I met up with her briefly at a café where she was with some friends, we greeted, and she handed me a delightful and heart-felt mixed CD. (Yes! Expanding my music horizons!) On it is mostly German music, but also some songs in French, English, (technically some Austrian, because there's a Mozart piece), and Spanish slotted in between the rest.

*FYI: Vanderbilt requires that I have a tutor for every class that I take. But I'm not really complaining. Without them, especially first semester, I would have drowned.

She lives a little ways outside of Regensburg and is going home tomorrow morning, so we hugged 57 different times and said a bittersweet goodbye. We didn't get to hang out as much as I realize we should have, but I'll really miss her. We had a good time, and I'm glad to have met her.


I popped it in and started listening as soon as I got back home. Track #1 is "Adieu" by 17 Hippies, and as I listened, I felt it draw a deep sigh from within me somewhere.

I've come here now to say "Adieu,"
The others have already gone and are waiting...

Click the link and give it a listen. Musically speaking, in certain categories, this is just my cup of tea. I love it.

The music she's given me is excellent, and I'm quite happy to find how much I like most of the tracks. Some are somber and mellow, like "Adieu," while others are purposefully humorous and make me laugh, like "Denglisch" (Deutsch/Englisch, a very well-known term between those who speak both languages) and "Mein kleiner grüner Kaktus" ("My Little Green Cactus"). And still there are a few that I already knew.

Track #14 is "Wonderful World" by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole. I already knew this song because it was used in Juggleville III at Vanderbilt, which I was in last year. I always liked it a lot, but had never actually heard the entire song (just the segment during rehearsals and shows).

Thinking about leaving the people I've come to adore and love here, and then, listening to this track on this farewell CD, I suddenly burst into tears. Uncontrollable tears. I upgraded from Kleenex to hand towel in record time. I had to follow me with a mop.

But believe it or not, that was already the second time. When I was still on "Adieu," I read the small message in red that she also wrote for me at the bottom of the inside cover. It reads in German: "Dear Elayn, your year here has flown by far too quickly. It made me really happy that I got to know you. Best wishes for the future. Maybe one day, we will see each other again."


And when I reached the last sentence, I lost it. I'm sorry. I lost it.

This is truly the beginning of the end.